Reflections 102: Self-Control

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind ~ Buddha

One of the reasons why I love the concept of discipline is that it encompasses a spiritual and a physical commitment. I have an intense infatuation with the art of discipline because it enables you to analyze your strengths, weakness and your potential. In addition, it gives me the fuel to stay focused (which is hard for me). Through my journey of self-discipline, I have come to learn three valuable lessons:

Avoid Anger

It ain’t worth it. When I get angry, I remind myself to internalize that this is a temporary reaction to a trigger. It’s fascinating that when I am in a state of anger, my ability to make cognitive decisions disappears. I become engulfed in a state of panic and I become selfish because it’s all about me. One of the reasons why I don’t like to get angry because its at the expense of my dignity. At the same time, it’s a blessing that we are able to feel and express our emotions. The caveat is that to not let your emotions control you. One of the ways that I have dealt with a frustrating situation is to step back, breathe and let it go. Keep in mind that if you have a tendency to lash out, it won’t provide you a solution (at least not a viable long-term solution). There is always a better way to address a situation even when it’s not convenient to do the right thing.

Forgive/Learn to heal

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the past but it is a means of reconciling the past with the present. The hardest part is that there is no clear cut answer to how you can begin the process of forgiving someone. But the deeper truth is that the journey to healing is different for everyone. There are two things to remember: we are not perfect and we should love ourselves first. There will be times when we disappoint each other but that enables you to be cognizant of our inherent imperfection. Have reasonable expectations and you will be content. Finally, when you open the door to forgiveness, you are making a pledge to yourself that you will not let anyone or anything to be able to dictate your life.

Do good

Being of service to others allows me to immerse myself in inner peace. It’s a gratifying experience to be able to make a difference in a person’s life. There is wisdom behind helping others because you can never quantify the experience of changing a person’s state of being. This act of charity can be a small gesture such as making someone laugh or helping a friend who is seeking employment. A close friend was looking for a job and I offered to see where I can be of assistance. I provided with my resources and connections and after a couple of months, she was able to secure a job. She repeatedly said that she owes me but in reality, she doesn’t owe me anything. If we want good for ourselves, we should consciously evaluate the way we treat people.

I hope you all benefit and please comment below and share your tips and tricks. #self-discipline #self-control

Until next time,


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