Reflections 104: Being Selfish Is A Necessity

photo credit: Josh Hild

Being in a state of selfishness is like being in an awkward relationship – uncomfortable. You don’t want to leave but at the same time – you just ain’t feeling it. It’s a tougher battle for someone like me. I want to help the world but my body has limitations beyond my capacity. How do I reconcile these two?

There is nothing more fulfilling than being able to help someone. I’m honored when someone asks for my help because it allows me to be a better person. It’s an opportunity to reconnect with my purpose. I genuinely believe we are destined to help one another.

Then comes the experience that challenges your status quo. I wanted to be that “person” that helped everyone. My heart and my body were in a constant state of friction. I let my heart dictate my state of mind and my body was burnt out. The rush of excitement preceded any concern for my well-being being because it was the right thing to do. If God provided me the capability to help someone, why would I not rush to the call of service?

To answer this question, we must enter the realm of reality:

1. You will not save the world. In order to get rid of this superhero myth, we must accept the harsh truth. We are inherently imperfect. As a result, we can’t please everyone simultaneously. Secondly, there are circumstances that are out of our control. We might not have the resources to help someone. Certain situations such as marriage counseling or drug addiction or trauma requires an expert. Being a good person is not sufficient. We really have to tread cautiously because we might be adding more fuel to the fire.

2. Self-development is key. Knowing who you are is a powerful tool. Before you make a commitment to help someone, put your time and energy into investing in yourself. Maybe you are a phenomenal writer or a talented photographer? We should all make an effort to find our passion. You never know who you could inspire. It begins with a simple question: how can I provide value?

3. Set realistic boundaries – You don’t want to be that person that everyone goes to because you are “really nice”. I’ve been there and it just ain’t cool. There are people that you will encounter that will not be concerned of your best interest. How can you avoid that? Make sure you communicate your expectations. It’s not rude to say that I can only commit during this time period. People will appreciate the courtesy. Keep in mind, time is the only asset that we can never get back.

I hope you all enjoyed this post. We all have beauty inside and out and I hope you take the time to explore who you are. Feel free to share comments. Let’s keep the conversation going: #howdoyouselfcare

Until next time,



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